Top 8 Positive Parenting Techniques to discipline your child

“Spare the rod and spoil the child.” Haven’t we all heard this age-old saying? Young parents today are always in a dilemma on how to discipline their children effectively. There is a strong wave of gentle parenting doing the rounds. As parents, we would love to really spare the rod and yet see our children grow into beautiful adults. Is that even possible? As a mother of a growing child, I can tell you from experience. It sure is. 

Discipling is a long-term objective. The goal of discipline is to teach the child how to behave and how not to behave. The goal of discipline is not to punish them for bad behavior. 

First of all, start by asking yourself what behavioral aspects you would like to see in your child when he/she grows up. Respectful, Independent and self-sufficient, kind, generous, and perseverant.

Next, remember that children learn by watching their elders behave. The method used to discipline should ensure we are displaying the behavioral aspects we want them to become. Ask yourself if the disciplining method you are considering will help your child move towards the desired objective.

For eg. Yelling at your child for a mistake, giving worse punishment to a kid teaches him that it’s okay to be disrespectful of others once in a while. Or cleaning your child’s room for him moves him away from becoming self-sufficient.  

Here are some positive parenting techniques to discipline your child:

1. Age-appropriate discipline: Discipline works very differently for children in different age ranges. 

   • Babies don’t understand right or wrong. They need to be told repeatedly what is not right. You might have to repeat it many times before they finally get it. 

   • Toddlers and preschoolers are always testing limits. They will usually try to do something wrong just to check the parent’s reaction. Be calm and consistent while telling them what to do and not to do. 

   • School going children understand the consequences of negative behavior. So, having clear rules and consequences of breaking them, works in bringing them back to the desired behavior. 

2. Quiet corner: As adults, we sometimes tend to act in a way that makes us feel out of control. What is it that we need to bring ourselves back to our senses then? Spend a few moments in solitude and away from everything helps us, isn’t it? Similarly, when a child is throwing a tantrum or is acting unreasonable, making a habit of going to a quiet corner helps her gather herself back. Remember this is not a punishment strategy. The parent can sit with the child until she feels better. 

3. Giving consequences: This works well especially with older children. For example, cutting out TV time if the child doesn’t do what was required of her. Remember to be firm and consistent in following the set rules. If you allow for deviations, the child will understand that it is ok to break the rules. 

4. Ignore bad behaviour: Sometimes paying attention to minor bad behavior exaggerates it. So, we can overlook small episodes of misbehavior and focus on what’s important.

5. Natural consequences: Allow the child to experience the natural consequences if it is not dangerous. For example, a child who is repeatedly rocking his chair despite being told not to. As long as it is safe, it is okay to let them have a small fall and realize their mistake. 

6. Appreciate good behaviour: When you notice small improvements in their behavior, be sure to praise their efforts and reward them for it, 

7. Hear them out always: A child does not misbehave deliberately. Most of the time there is a genuine dilemma he is in. No matter how small his dilemma may seem to you, hear him out. They will listen to you more if they know their point of view is being considered. 

8. Prepare them before an event: If you are taking them to a social outing, make them aware ahead of the meeting what behavior is expected of them.

Above all, be the role models that your child will emulate. Ensure caretakers model good behavior too.

Stay Tuned! Stay Relevant!