Faced with a child who has been lying to you? It is most often disheartening to realise that your little baby has been hiding matters and lying to you. As a parent, we are filled with sadness, isn’t it? But whether we like it or not, it is a situation which most parents face sometime or the other.

When does a child lie? Or when do we as adults lie to someone? What are the emotions a child is going through, which make him lie? 

• Fear: When we are scared of upsetting the other person with our reactions, we lie to them. A child will resort to lying if she fears the parents’ reaction. For example: “Mummy will shout if I tell her that instead of eating the carrots I threw them into the bin. I better not tell her the truth.”

• Shame: When we are ashamed of what we did and covering up the truth seems like an easier task than dealing with the other person’s reactions. 

• Avoid Punishment: A child will lie when she is scared of the punishment. Getting hit, getting screamed at or punishment in other ways are humiliating experiences for a child. They will lie to you to save themselves from the humiliation. 

• Avoid Disappointing You: The last thing a child would want to do is to disappoint her parents. They would rather lie than fall low in the parents’ eyes. 

• Peer Influence: Seeing other kids in school boasting about their lies can influence your child into trying it out with you. 

• Lacking Self-Esteem: Children who lack self-esteem will lie to make themselves seem impressive in front of others. For example, A child lying that “I always come first in class” or “I went to a big party last night”. 

• To Get the Focus off Themselves: When a child knows that the parent will worry if they knew the truth, they would rather lie. “I slept well last night” or “No, I wasn’t crying” only to ensure that the focus is off them. 

• Lack of Understanding: Some children speak harmless white lies all the time. Because they see elders doing it at home, they simply don’t see it as wrong. They do not understand why it can be a bad thing to do. 

Most often it is the parent’s reaction to a child’s honesty which makes a child resort to lying.  But does that mean we as parents do not disagree with a child ever? Does that mean we do not correct them at all? That would make parenting very difficult. Click here to understand how we can correct a child’s behaviour and yet encourage them to be truthful to us. 

Stay Tuned! Stay Relevant!