Mom-blogger and influencer, Ankita Kothari joins us to talk about mindful parenting and associated practices that can help you along your parenting journey. You can follow her @mummystan.
Can you give us an idea about Mindful Parenting?
Mindful parenting is being conscious and aware of what's happening and keeping your thought and emotions aside.
Have you read? Mindfulness Practice For You And Your Kids
How important is it to thoughtfully react to your child's behavior or actions?
Reacting thoughtfully is very important. We don't know which particular thing you might say will hurt your baby. It keeps overlapping in your kid's heart.
I recently came across a similar incident. There was a small baby whose teacher had asked about his performance and how he was doing at home. That mom, being a typical Indian mom started cribbing about him. Now, when that child grew up, those things had built up to such a level that he started taking drugs. When they took him to the counselor to figure out why he was doing this, he told them that whatever he did was never enough for his parents.
That's why I think we should be thoughtful and aware of our actions and words.
There are parents who keep yelling at their child for every small mistake they make, for not performing well enough in school or not coming first. How do you think that affects the child?
Every child is special and has something that they are good at. Not everyone can be Lata Mangeshkar or Kiran Bedi. We will have to find out their talents and passions. Yelling won't bring out the best in them. You will have to involve yourself and inspire them.
What are your views on Lazy Parenting?
Lazy Parenting can fall under the topic of Mindful Parenting. Lazy Parenting is something that can be very good for the child.
The type of Lazy Parenting where you are consciously looking after your child but you leave them to explore and make decisions so that their efficacy increases and they can become confident in their own abilities is an example of that.
But we should not just leave them, we should keep an eye on them.
The type of lazy parenting where you just hand over your child the phone to keep them occupied is something I don't believe in. There was a time when my kid was 6 or 8 months old; she was a fussy eater. We saw many parents who were showing their kids the phone to get them to eat. I started doing the same thing. But then I noticed that after some time she refused to eat even with the phone in her hand. That's when I decided that I cannot let this happen and I have to control this before it's too late. Now she no longer needs the phone to eat.
How can parents stay calm when their child is misbehaving?
When you are outdoors and the kid is misbehaving we should patiently make them understand that you are not doing the correct thing. Another thing you can do is to try and change the topic. And if they still don't listen to you then you are the parent, you can take certain actions while being thoughtful. We shouldn't use words that might hurt them. Scolding someone in public is not acceptable.
Some special tips you would like to give to the parents.
I have a message for the mothers. It's very important for them to stay calm and do something for themselves. Take time out for yourself. Take your kids for outings. Be a friend to your kid, be their teacher, and their mothers. Every child is special. Parenting is not a rocket science.