Different parenting styles and their consequences

Parenting is the process of raising kids and providing them with protection and care in order to ensure their healthy development into adulthood. Raising a child is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world. So, you should be careful while choosing a parenting style. The type of parenting you choose plays an important role in your child’s life.

There’s no one right way of parenting, but according to studies, there are different parenting styles and the effects they have on children for years. Many of these styles were studied and described by some psychologists. They observed pre-schoolers and found there are four types of parents:

1. Authoritarian
2. Authoritative
3. Permissive
4. Uninvolved

Authoritarian parenting style

Also known as autocratic parenting, this turns a family into more of a ruling kingdom or a territory where children need to adhere to the wishes of the parent. These parents demand a lot from their children and make their high expectations clear. But it is rarely complemented with guidance, support, or feedback and instead met with constant negative comments about the child’s behaviour. 

• These parents believe that only they know the right way to raise a child and expect their child to grow exactly the way they want. It is like living under a dictatorial regime where anything the parent says is no different from a command.
• The only thing children are supposed to do is adhere to what’s asked or expected from them, without fail. Even when the children successfully manage to adhere to all the expectations, the feedback would still be a lot more expectation for the next time.
• There is no emotional attachment and all that parents focus on is making sure that their child listens to their orders and becomes successful.

Consequences:

• Regular criticisms and reminders about how the child should behave and what not to do make the child doubt their potential and worth.
• Children with low self-esteem find it difficult to interact with people in social settings and while expressing their feelings. 
• In this parenting style, the parents often end up being angry and loud when the child does not follow the rule. This will lead to anxiety in the child.
• When children are forced to do things they don’t like, they turn out to be aggressive when they reach their adolescence. They find it difficult to control their anger and resentment.
• Children do not learn to think independently and cannot make decisions for themselves. They always wait for someone else to decide for them.

Authoritative parenting style

This style of parenting is a little bit of everything. Parents set some rules and boundaries that they enforce with consistency, but also nurture kids so that they can meet those standards. It has the potential to help kids thrive emotionally, socially, and academically. These parents not only listen to their kids and support them as they work through obstacles and mistakes, but they also set rules and follow them up with consistency. This style changes from family to family, and even from child to child. Remember, this type of parenting is about striking a healthy balance. These parents are nurturers, supportive, and sensitive, yet firm.

According to many studies, this style is the most effective method with the best outcome. But it falls in the middle of authoritarian and permissive parenting. So, it’s possible to slide over to one of the other styles which can lead to different consequences.

You must be thinking that what can be the consequences? 

A parent may continue to nurture and support their child but become more lenient with rules, requirements, and expectations over time. And rather than staying consistent, they may give in when their child throws tantrums. Just like permissive parents would do. Or, parents might become more inflexible and rigid with decisions and rules. They could show concern about their child’s emotions. Just like an authoritarian parent would do.

A shift to either of the sides can impact children. Permissive parenting can lead to poor impulse control and rebelliousness. Authoritarian parenting can lead to a higher risk of mental health issues, low self-esteem, and poor social skills.

 Read | Guide to equal parenting

Permissive parenting style

If I have to sum up permissive parenting in one word it would be slack. 
Yes, permissive parents are nurturers and warm, but they’re also hesitant to discipline because they don’t want to disappoint their child. They are emotionally supportive, highly responsive, and less demanding. They ignore their child’s negative behaviour and provide no consequences for that. These parents reward their kids excessively to get things done.

Consequences:

• Since parents do not want to disappoint their children, they give them everything they ask for. Even if their demand is unreasonable. So, the child does not learn the difference between needs and wants.
• In the absence of rules and structure at home, the child may not learn the value of time. They might spend too much time playing video games and watching T.V.
• In this style, the child may feel that they are in charge rather than their parents, and this experience can generate significant anxiety. 
• Children might have difficulty regulating their emotions and feelings especially when their needs are not met. 

Uninvolved parenting style

As the name suggests, uninvolved is a style of parenting in which parents may have minimal or no involvement in their child’s overall needs. In other words, in this way of parenting, the parents have the least involvement in the physical, emotional, academic, and other important aspects of their child’s life. 

Consequences:

• Due to a lack of guidance, the child may feel directionless and lost. They may not be able to make simple decisions in life and may rely on others for the same. 
• If the child does not feel loved, it may impact their psychological development. 
• In an upbringing where there are no rules and boundaries, the child may later find it difficult to follow rules elsewhere. 
• If the child feels unloved and detached, they may drift to substance abuse, and if parents are into it, the risk may become higher for the child.