“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one”
Motherhood is the toughest yet the greatest aspect of a woman’s life. Let us cherish the story of a mother who savors motherhood with ardor. We have onboard Ms. Rajeshwari Sharma, a designer, and mother of an 8-year-old daughter, who inspires parents by sharing her journey and blogging about various parenting stuff.
Initially, the journey started with my page. I started the page as I wanted to do something which will cater to parenting and one fine day I kept my professional career aside and began focusing on the page. I connected with many mothers like me, many of them had personal groups and met often while some shared their stories on Instagram. That was how I got introduced to the concept of mom blogging.
Before that, I had a private audience count and did not share my stories and journey with a mass audience. One day I attended a meet-up organized by a similar parenting platform where I met two generous women Sanya and Jyotika with whom I connected quite well. I met a lot of mom bloggers which inspired me a lot and eventually led to what I am today. I have had a wonderful journey till now and hope to make it better.
Well, I think that it completely depends on parents whether they consider handling both simultaneously as pressure or not. If you think it as a pressure then it will impact your mind subconsciously and you will start feeling stressed or pressurized. The social media platforms consist of different kinds of people who share their journey for various reasons, some for earning through it, and some just share to inspire and motivate.
I am someone who wants to share and inspire and so I never let myself to be stressed. I try not to get affected by negativity and remain optimistic. But sometimes we do get affected. Whenever something stresses me I play or enjoy with my daughter and it helps me overcome my stress and forget my worries. It is something I love doing and so I do not consider it as a pressure or burden.
It was all-natural and there was nothing like the pressure of responsibilities. She was a planned baby and we were very excited throughout. I never felt taken care of her as pressure and enjoyed every moment I spend with her in her early childhood. Being a mother, you get to discover your strengths and do a lot of things that you have never done in a short period like feeding the child, taking care of her health, taking care of your family, balancing your work life. I honestly, did not feel any pressure and just went with the flow.
The best memory would be the moment when my daughter Rasika was born. I was very elated at the moment. Talking about a lesson I learned, well as I said earlier as a mother you rediscover yourself. You are surprised to know that you can handle so many things at a time. I think we should be thankful to every mother for their constant efforts in the journey of motherhood. I remember when Rasika was 6, I started freelance designing work as I love designing and not a person to seat ideal for a long time.
I initially joined back my corporate job when she was 3 months old but then realized that I should not continue it as it may hamper my child’s development so I started working from home or maybe go for freelancing. When your baby is small you have to do multi-tasking and that is a truly incredible thing which a mother does.
Well, the biggest fear of a mother, especially the mother of a daughter is that she will someday leave my house after getting married. Whenever I brood about it, I think how is she going to manage or how will things work for her in the future. This is I guess the toughest part of a mother who has a daughter. You raise her in your house for so many years and then one day she has to go. That is my biggest fear.
It was very tough in the beginning as it was a complete switch over the normal schedule. Children were supposed to sit in front of screens for hours and it was you know a drastic change which was difficult to cope up with, both for kids and parents. When your child is in school, you’re free and assured that your child is doing something productive but on the other hand when kids are at home for the entire day, you have to constantly keep a check on them.
The online classes pose major problems like hampering the eyesight, my daughter already has specs and so I try to control her screen time. When the online learning started I was quite worried about her as her screen time will increase and it could impact her.
Digitization is okay if no other option is available but it turns stressful for children and sometimes for parents as well. Many children are obedient enough to sit and listen but many do not do so and that affects an entire lot of children. This also affects a child's concentration.
I don’t consider it a hurdle because this is transient and kids will eventually return to their normal school life. During this unfortunate time, parents must engage them productively so that they don’t miss out on skills they are interested in or has a knack for. There are still skills that could not be taught at home but we could still give it a try. I engage my daughter in various activities and this quarantine has given the mothers the gift of time to spend with their kids and do some extraordinary things. My daughter has developed skills in DIY activities, dance, cooking, and other life skills as well.
Communication is the key to a strong bond. You need to talk with your child, share your secrets or stories, or teach them a lesson. I usually talk with my daughter on random topics, teach her about safety, ask her if anything’s wrong. Before the quarantine, when she was back from school I used to ask her about her friends, teacher, how was the day. I also spent 15-30 minutes every day before her bedtime. It is known that a child remembers things which you tell them before they go to sleep. So I do that and that has been very beneficial for the bonding between us.
Bond always grows stronger. Bond changes with years, as an infant we used to hug her and play with her as they do not understand much but now that she can talk we can mutually share our stories and bond better. When she grows up, the bonding will be different.
Well, children have so many plans and whenever I ask her she has a different plan about what she wants to be. Someday she wishes to be a pilot, and recently she told me that she wants to be a designer like me. It makes me so proud. I do not have to guide her much. She watches videos on youtube and starts with painting or designing.
I live in a joint family and my in-laws still don’t get what I actually do. They see me on mobile and clicking pictures so they don’t get my work but when I show them the sponsors or gifts I receive that get to know that yes she is doing something online. My husband has been very supportive. I feel blessed. Sometimes, he gets irritated but that is a thing every mom blogger would relate but he understands it quite well.
Just stay positive and embrace the time you have got to spend with your child.
Follow her on Instagram @missrasika for more insights!