How To Manage The Unmanageable Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry means the fights and competition between two siblings as a reaction of anger. Siblings spend most of the time with each other and it is quite obvious that when two people of almost the same age groups will stay together for most of the time then there will be fights, competition and jealousy. However, this fight or jealousy doesn't last long.

Fighting or arguing is common between siblings. These fights teach them how to solve a conflict, adapt to tolerance and most importantly it teaches them how to live in a family by forgetting all the conflicts and arguments. So healthy fights are good as they teach social skills to the child but these fights can take a huge turn when a child starts developing a negative attitude towards his family and siblings. 

So it is important to ensure that there are healthy fights and they don't turn negative and affect your child's development and family relations.

Some Facts On Sibling Rivalry:

• Sibling rivalry occurs most between siblings with the same gender and less age gap.

• It reduces as the siblings get older.

• Sibling rivalry is less in families where parents treat siblings with equal love and respect their differences.

• Fights increases when siblings start seeing each other as competitors rather than siblings.

How Sibling Rivalry Affects Child Development:

• Becoming violent with each other in between fights is normal in every sibling relationship. But when a child is very young and doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong he might start adapting violence and become violent in every situation.

• Siblings may start feeling jealous of each other and start seeing each other as competitors. In this case, it can affect the sibling relationship and they may not have the bond and love that other siblings share.

• It can cause stress and frustration. When one sibling gets scolded every time and his parents always say that he/she is wrong most of the time then he might feel stressed and frustrated. He can also think that his parents don't love or understand him.

How to Manage Sibling Rivalry

Here we have some tips and tricks that you should adapt to manage siblings without increasing conflicts between them:

• Don't Make Comparisons. Each child is unique and has qualities. By making comparisons and saying that one is better than the other we disrespect the qualities and talent that another sibling has. This creates differences in mind.

• Whenever Possible let siblings settle their differences. This will help them in understanding each other and make them understand how conflicts should be solved is a family.

• Don't expect one sibling to be like another. This will make him/her feel that you love another one more and think that he is inefficient and less than the other one.

•  Never make one child responsible for another's mistakes. 

•  Don’t scold and shout on any one of them. Make them understand their faults separately and always try to find both's mistakes instead of proving only one wrong every time.

How To Avoid/Reduce Sibling Rivalry

These are some of the things that you can take care of so that the fights between your children's decreases:

•   Take great care to evenly spread all the attention and love between both the siblings equally so that no sibling ends up with an "unfair" share of love.

• Parents should not provide one sibling with more gifts and resources than others.

• Teach your children to share their things.

• Any house rule should be applied to both the siblings equally. One should not be given more independence than another.

How To Make Your Child Ready For Sibling

•  Make your child realize that his sibling is a part of his family and he should be given love and care because he is new to this family and is very young.

• After the birth of another child don't give all the attention and love to the new baby.

• Tell him that you love both of them equally.

• Train him to share his things with his new sibling. You can do this by making him understand that his sibling is also the part of their family now.

We cannot eliminate fights and arguments between two siblings but we can take small steps so that they don't start affecting your child's mind and their relationship with you. All these things are common in nature and can be seen in every family so there is no need to feel stressed if your kids fight a lot.

As a parent we should try and understand each of them, respect their differences and try to resolve fights without hurting any one of them. Being a parent is quite difficult and comes with a lot of responsibilities and requires a lot of love and care but it becomes easy when you know such problems that come with parenting. Always try to mix modern and classical parenting so that both you and your child have no complaints with each other.