Breaking Bad News to Children: Some Tips to Follow

I remember the day our late prime minister Rajiv Gandhi passed away. I was a 10-year old then. My dad used to work in the press. To any other 10-year old, this piece of news would have been a passing event, nothing that would have affected them personally. But, to a family that breathed news and current affairs day in and day out, it was an event which mattered to us. 

So why am I talking about it here today? Because it taught me a very important parenting lesson that day. It has to do with the way mom broke the news to me. She knew that this was important news in my dad’s professional life, and hence mattered to us as a family. So that day, instead of the usual “Radhika wake up or you’ll miss your bus!”, my mom came with my glass of milk, gently woke me up. After I drank it, she informed me that there was something unpleasant to share. She delivered the news, told me these things happen and I was ok. Why did she do it as soon as I woke up? Because she knew it would be discussed around the house and she wanted to make sure she delivered it to me as gently as possible. 

Long story I know!

So here are some tips to follow when breaking the bad news to children:

• Keep in mind the age of your child. For younger ones, filter out the unnecessary details. Older ones are more mature so can be told the facts completely. 

• Always keep your composure while delivering the news. The child will draw his inspiration from you on how to handle bad news. 

• Select an environment to deliver the news. Calling a child who is playing with his toys, is not the ideal time. He is too charged at that time. A calm and quiet place is what is needed. 

• Pause for a while in between to allow your child to ask questions. Let him know that he is free to express his feelings or ask whatever he feels like. 

• Plan something for later to keep your child preoccupied. Go for an outing or movie or run some errands together so the child doesn’t have to let the news linger on too much in his mind. 

Having an empathetic approach towards your child in such situations will help him/her carry the same values later on in life.

Stay Tuned! Stay Relevant!