Why your five year old acts up when in public

Imagine this situation: You are having a grand birthday party for your 5-year-old, inviting many friends, planning a lot of fun activities for her. While the party is in progress, you are caught unawares by a wailing child. You realize in dismay that it is your own little one throwing a tantrum over a petty matter! No amount of coaxing is helping her calm down. You are left embarrassed and shame-faced by the situation. 

Sounds familiar? 

When kids act out in public, they are usually responding to some internal or external trigger. Remember that they are behaving in a developmentally appropriate manner. 

But to save us from an embarrassing situation, let us understand what could be the most common triggers that lead children to misbehave in public.

Basic needs met: A child may not always be able to communicate clearly what her need is. But ends up expressing it as a tantrum. When a child acts out, check if she might be hungry, sleepy or hasn’t used the restroom in a long while. If yes, address that issue first and the child is most likely to calm down on her own. 

Communicate your stand clearly: Haven’t we all had to face a child pleading for a toy as if their life depends on it? You know that she won't even look at it the next day. Very soon the pleading can turn into a huge meltdown at the shop, leaving us embarrassed. It is a good strategy to communicate to your child in clear terms what will be purchased at the store. And entertain nothing else. Ensure that you practice this so the child will learn from you. Be sure to stick to your stand even if there is a meltdown in the store. Only when the parents are firm in their stand, does the child understand that what they say is what they mean. 

Be calm in the face of public shaming: Have faith in your parenting style even when you face criticism from people around for not handling the situation well. Stand by your stance and respond to the child’s behavior, despite people’s comments. When you are not getting affected by accusations, it is easier to make sound decisions. 

Give adequate attention: Kids thrive on attention from their parents and caretakers. Sometimes children act out only as a means of getting attention – whether positive or negative. Ensure that you spend quality time with your child on a daily basis. Keep aside everything else and genuinely listen to them. 

Seek professional help: In some cases, however, acting out may become extreme. There is a possibility of an underlying condition leading to it. It is important to seek professional help and address the condition in such cases.

Above all, do remember that when your child is no longer this small, you are going to have a good laugh with her, retelling those very stories that feel nightmarish now. This too shall pass! So hang in there and give them as much love as possible. 

Happy Parenting

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