Why Won’t My Child Listen To Me?

“Clean your room,” says Clara
“Clean it yourself” comes to a storming reply from her 14-year-old young girl.

This argument has been going on for hours now, but just like every other time, Clara has just one thing to say “Why don’t you listen to me? You always have to fight with your mother!”

These days, parents are constantly in a fight. A fight that is with their children.

However, are you aware of the reason behind this chaotic fight for power going on in the house?
Have you ever tried as a parent to understand the core route of your child being so reluctant?

If your answer is a no, we suggest you have a thorough read of our blog below.

Prepping your child with manners and etiquette is a good thing, but what if your child goes rebel and never agrees to what you say? Most parents will take it as a token of disrespect. However, you need to understand that if a toddler won't listen, you cannot put it under the disrespect column.

If we unfold the truth before you, it might shock you to see what makes a child doesn't listen to you!

The root cause of why children don’t listen -

“My child won’t listen”, a regular complaint of many parents made us undergo deep research to find out what causes these major issues.
According to our research, we found out that the root cause of your kid's reluctance is you after all! Your over-protective nature is causing your child to undergo serious behavioral changes which shouldn’t have been a part of their life.

We often find parents yelling at their kids to not get into physical outdoor games as they feel it might be dangerous for them to do so.
But the truth is a little different.

According to a study, the declining rate of risky outdoor games in your kid's life can create severe behavioral changes which might make them goofy and sad. Your constant yelling, restrictions on outdoor playtime and movement can cause your kid more harm than good. Moreover, it is the era of digitalization, your kid spends more time on screen than running behind those chirpy birds, this has caused a decline in vestibular input. In case you don’t know what, vestibular input is, let us focus a little on that before we give you some healthy

Tips on making your kids listen to you.

The root cause of your “My toddler doesn’t listen to me!” complaints start at home!

For a child to focus, stay calm, and listen to what others won't, he must have enough vestibule inputs along with proprioception sense. All these senses become activated around the age of six.

But all that screen time you gave your kids, restricting them from taking part in risky outdoor games, makes your kid lack such senses and it eventually leads to you ranting “My kids don’t listen to me”

It's all about the behavioral changes!

Talking about vestibular and proprioceptive senses.

Proprioception senses are the senses which tell your kids about where their body parts are. In other words, it helps him switch to different tasks. Vestibular senses help your kid know where their body is concerning the surrounding.

Now you must be wondering what is the relation between your kid not listening and these two senses!

Let us elaborate a little,

When a child’s vestibular system takes time to adjust, all his senses will struggle to keep pace with the changes around them. When your kid lacks the proper vestibular senses, he will lose connection with his other senses, and no doubt these will lead to emotional imbalance. This will cause your child to become fussy, frustrated with everything, annoyed with little things, and many more battling hormones.
Ultimately he will start getting annoyed with everything you ask him to do!

But this can only be the case for toddlers. If your question is why don’t your teenage child listen to you, we have a solution for that too!

Why don’t teenagers listen to their parents?

Most of the parents who have complaints like, “My child won't listen” often believe that their kids have lost manners because of their peers. Or their child is getting spoilt by watching all those Korean dramas or the Netflix series.

But the truth is a little different!

All these changes and back answering is not out of disrespect, but sometimes it's all about their stage. The stage where they are understanding their new teenage world.

When teenagers start maturing, they feel their parental control coming between their zeal to explore the new worlds. So, you might feel that he is disrespecting you but the truth is it's just social development. Their perspective towards the world is changing and they want to put forward their opinions too.

So try understanding them like a friend before being a parent.

Read | How to tackle a power struggle with a child positively

How can you make your kids listen to you?

If you are looking for answers to how you can make your kids listen. We have some tips for you here!
Our sections cover all your needs from “How to deal with a 4-year old toddler who doesn’t listen?” to “why does my teenage daughter doesn’t listen”!

You can try some physical activities for your kids:

∙ Toddlers – Outdoor games for 5 to 8 hours
∙ Preschoolers – Outdoor games for 5 to 8 hours
∙ School-age – 4 to 5 hours of outdoor games
∙ Adolescents – 3 to 4 hours of physical activities

At emotional levels you can try the following tips:

1. Give them time to understand what you want to say

Parents have this superiority complex where they want their kids to listen as soon as they utter their first words

This makes a child resultant.

Give them time to understand what you want from them!

2. Repeating the same thing

Your child has heard everything and he knows when would be ideal for him to do the assigned task.

Don’t make yourself repetitive.

Rather, when your child is free ask him what he heard when you were talking to him some time prior.

3. Reward good listening

Rewards are always the favorite part of a kid’s life. When your kid listens to you and does what you want without hesitation, rewardṣ him for his good listening skills.

A pat on his back or a gentle physical touch would be more than enough for him to like your words!

4. Respect their opinions

You must have heard how giving respect earns you respect. Respect their opinions and their needs, understand what they want to say, and understand their emotions

Children learn from what they see, when they see you respecting their words they will naturally, respect you for whatever you say.

5. Communication

Communication builds a bond! Communicate with your child as much as you can and don’t make him feel left out.

This will not only help them inculcate good listening skills but they will also master their communication skills.

Read | Are you teaching your kids responsibility?