Sex Education: Talking to your school-age child about sex

Isn't it ironic that India is the 2nd most populated country, and people here still don’t talk about sex? The “S” word is still a taboo in India. Anju Kishinchandani, a sex educator, said it best “In India, we don’t hesitate to have sex, but when we have to talk about it, it’s against our culture.” Sex is not a comfortable topic to talk about to your children, but it’s really important. And yes, it will be very hard for you as a parent to start a conversation, especially if your parents didn’t talk to you about sex when you were growing up.

Kids and teenagers who have regular conversations with their parents and caregivers about relationships and sex are less likely to take risks with their sexual health and safety. Don’t worry if your child is in middle or high school and you haven’t started talking with them about this stuff yet. It’s never too late or never too early to talk about this to your child. There are a lot of ways to get the conversation going. Just don’t try to “catch-up” all at once because that can be overwhelming for them. It’s better to have little talks over time. The point is to make it really clear to your child that they can ask you questions or come to you for support without fear of shame or judgment.

Why SEX-ED is important for Children and Adolescents?

A study conducted in collaboration with UNICEF and the Population Council India shows that there are over 2.3 million people under 15 years with HIV infection, and this is because of a lack of information.  There are 235 million adolescents (10-19 years) who comprise 21% of the country’s population as per the 2011 census who receive little to no education about sex and their own sexuality. In countries like India, it is largely believed that talking about sex and its awareness may instead corrupt young children and adolescents. But in reality, they will be corrupted regardless if left untaught about their bodies, leaving them highly vulnerable. If you will not tell them, they will find other ways. Curious adolescents resort to pornography or random sites on the internet to learn about sex where It is portrayed in a violent manner which can have the wrong impact on them.

Sex education helps children gain the skills and information to make healthy decisions about sex and sexuality. It is important to teach your kids the importance of respectful relationships and the need for protection from pregnancy and sexual infections. It also increases their awareness of their own body and that of the opposite gender. If the correct information regarding sex is not provided to them by adults, then under curiosity they might search these things on the internet. And the wrong information provided on the internet might mislead them.

The following tips and strategies regarding Sex Education that can help

• Initiate at an early age – The best strategy is to start talking to your child about sex when they are young and contribute to that conversation as they get older. It lets you avoid giving one big talk when your child reaches adolescence when they feel that they already have the information and don't tend to be receptive.
• Don’t overload them with information – Explain things according to your child’s age. In a way that doesn’t make them feel awkward or embarrassed and do not provide them with too much information at once.
• Ask questions – Ask them questions and find out what they are learning. And be ready to fill the gaps and in this way, you can correct any misinformation from the start.
• Being honest will help – Be honest with your child while talking about this topic. Children can often figure out when their parents are not telling the truth. If this happens, they are less likely to be receptive in the future. If you don’t know the answer, just tell them that you don’t know and that both of you can look up the answer together.
• Reading helps – Read books about sex-ed and give some of them to your children according to their age. This is a great option because you can get information and it will also help you get over any embarrassment. But this is not ENOUGH. Talk to them regularly about sex and normalize it. Otherwise, there’s no point in just reading books.
• Find a substitute – Talking about sex is hard of course. When necessary, identify and encourage your children to ask for help from other trusted adults; it doesn’t always have to be you.
• Teachable moments – Teachable moments are simple and ordinary situations that occur in the normal course of living: your dog has a litter of puppies, your neighbor has a baby. All these kinds of situations can give you an opportunity to impart information and communicate your values.
• Use media – You can use television and other media like advertisements, movies, YouTube videos, current news events as jumping-off points for discussions of values, behaviors, consequences, and facts.

Recognize that uncertainty and embarrassment are common reactions but don’t let those stop you. Break that curse, tell those truths – the longer the silence goes on, the longer future generations live in fear and ignorance.