We all know that there's an influx of technology like there's an influx of information coming from every corner of the world. So it's also necessary to have a very sound and healthy relationship. And that's what exactly we are going to talk about. The topic for discussion is ‘what kind of relationship is necessary with kids?’
Q. Tell us something about yourself and your kid.
My name is Bhumika Bajaj and my Instagram handle name is @little_toddler_blogger. My daughter's name is Navika. She is four and a half years old. By qualification, I am an MBE i.e. Masters in Business Economics, and by profession, I am an educator in a preschool, which deals with the kids of my daughter's age which is 4-5 years of age. Also, I am an amateur Instagrammer, where I create some beautiful memories with my daughter through pictures and videos.
Q. How is being a mother different from being a woman?
Being a mother has completely changed me. Like, I was a very shy person when I was a college-going girl. But now, motherhood has made me strong and fierce. I am very protective when it comes to my daughter. Like, if anyone is causing trouble to my daughter then I will just screw them. So that is what I am as a mother.
Q. How is the bond that parent’s share with their kids important?
The bond that I share with my daughter is like a coconut that is hard from above and soft from inside. So whenever she sees me she is like “mamma has come, mamma has come” she gets scared but internally she knows that mamma is the one whom I can always trust. I have a nuclear family so she is completely dependent on either me or my husband. I want to make her feel important in our life’s each and every step and turns. So I am a calm mother who is strict but is always there for her child and who loves her child very much.
Q. What kind of relationship is necessary between kids and their parents?
I will say there should be a very friendly relationship between the child and parents. But not over friendly, because this will make your child not listen to you. Sometimes, you have to be strict but make sure you are not authoritative. There is a difference between being authoritative and being strict. I think the kids must be in discipline and should be listening to us. For example, sometimes when my daughter does something wrong then I just express it through my eyes. So, I think we should have a kind of friendly relationship where children can rely on us.
Q. Do you believe in anger and punishment?
I do not believe in giving punishment. It is a strict NO for me. Instead, I will give her time-out if ever I have to give punishment. Like, if she is doing something wrong and I do not want her to do that kind of a thing. Then, I am just going to give her a timeout in which neither her father nor I will talk to her. In this situation, she has to be alone for a few minutes. So, in a nuclear family, for parents, the children are so particular that I think this kind of punishment, not a punishment even, just the time-out session is good enough to make the kids understand the difference between right and wrong.
And about anger, sometimes it happens. We are also human and get frustrated. So, we can show a little bit of anger.
Q. Do you think children should consider parents as their friends?
I think children must consider their parents as friends in the first place itself. Because through this children will become open with the parents. They will be able to talk about anything and everything. For example, if I am talking to one of my friends, I am very open, I don't need to think about what to talk about or what I am talking about. And also, everyone needs someone in their life with whom they can talk about anything and pour their heart out. So, the same should be with our kids. We must talk to our kids in a friendly manner and give them the liberty to talk to us about anything. This will make the relation and bond stronger with the child. We can’t deal with kids by being strict so when they will grow up, they can look up to us whenever they want to discuss something. Thus, I think being friends with the kids is very important and in today’s era, the kids are so sensitive that we as parents also have to be very sensitive towards their situation.
Q. What we do to improve the bonding with kids to gain their trust?
Firstly, I think we must invest more time in our child than money. What I feel is if my daughter demands something from me then I should not provide her immediately. I will probably let her wait for a few days so that she must value it when she gets the thing. If I will provide things to her immediately then she is not going to value it.
I, most importantly, even if I am working prefer spending most of my time in the evening with her so that she does not feel neglected.
So I think we must spend time with them and do some different activities like water play. My daughter is very fond of water so why not play with her. I plan certain activities twice or thrice a week to make her feel special. My husband also goes to works but we both make sure to spend time with her. We give equal time, equal importance to Navika because these days children look forward to spending time with parents. Time gives a very strong belief, if you are ready to give somebody time then this will surely build trust.
Q. What is that one highlight that you would want to point out about your journey of mom blogging?
So, firstly being a mom, I would like to give just a small suggestion to everyone.
Let them live their own life; don’t take their childhood from them. Let them explore, let them be naughty. Let them have fun because if we will restrict them, then this will take away their childhood. Like we want to live our life similarly our kids also want to live their life. So, let us not be very strict mothers. Let's live and let them live.
My mother was never strict with me but my father was very strict. So I share everything with my mother. I never have to think before talking to her. So, let’s be the kind mothers where our kids can look upon us and talk to us about each and everything they want without any second thought.
Q. Is there any secret rule or mantra that you would want to share with our audience?
I will say just live your life as a child with your child because you are getting the opportunity to live your childhood once again with your kids and let us make this journey beautiful not just for ourselves but also for our kids because they are very small and want our support, love and time. That is what our kids look up to. I know earning is also important but it must go hand in hand.