How to deal with your child's pessimistic views

The world with all of its predicaments and issues right now, can not be led by pessimists and it needs idealists now more than ever. Our youth is our future and we require them to be positive for this right future. 

Children who believe in their success will achieve it while those who don’t need to be taught about optimism. Optimistic people are less likely to quit, and get depressed. They live healthier lives. Most importantly, they know how to get back up after a fall. 

Pessimism can be an inherited trait but parents also carelessly seed negative thoughts in the child by the way they react to every situation. Anyhow, with the correct manner of interpreting the environment, an optimistic attitude become the principal posture of your child’s life. 

What leads to Pessimistic thoughts?

A child could very well be born as a pessimist.

However, there is a pattern in which these thoughts develop:

Permanence: "This always happens and will happen again”
Pervasive: "Nothing has ever gone right."
Personal: "Why does this always happen to me?"
Powerlessness: "Nobody could have done anything about it, what can I do?"

These thought processes are often adapted by the parents or the environment around them. Most importantly, to turn a pessimist into an optimist, a parent needs to change themselves and learn to be optimistic with their child. 

Read | A Complete Guide on Your Child's Inferiority Complex

What does a pessimistic attitude do to a child?

1. Pessimism is proven to be more sinister for heart patients of a second heart attack than conventional medical risk factors.

2. A pessimistic attitude also affects the immune system. 

3. Pessimism cultivates lousiness and passive behavior instead of the will to take any action in the light of difficult situations. 

How to turn a pessimistic child into an optimist

1. Observe how your child thinks in difficult situations 

In every difficult situation, first, notice how your child handles the situation. Do they ask you questions like “Why does this always happen to me ?” or they get extremely stressed out not knowing what they should do. 

The first step is to know whether your child is positive or not. If you sense that they are gloomy and sad, you can enhance them to be more hopeful and confident. 

2. Cut out the negativity around them

Being the most obedient listeners and students, a child learns from everything around him. 

Try not to watch violent shows on tv or news around the young child. 
Deal with your problems with a balanced and active mind. Don’t stress in front of the child and show them how a situation is ideally to be dealt with. 

3. Look for the positive

Every night, share positive moral stories with your child. Tell them all the good things that happened to you during your day. Encourage them to remember all the happy and positive things that happened with them too. 

If your child goes to sleep remembering the inspirational and positive things, he’ll have the energy to deal with the next day with the same attitude. Encourage them to see the best in the worst. One day, they will not need these activities and think the best by themselves. But till then, make it a habit for them to see the good around them. 

4. Teach your child the principles of Optimism.

The essential way to overcome dread and fear is to be realistic from the beginning. What happens to us can be tacked with when we understand that it could happen to anyone. Every difficulty that comes our way isn’t personal.

For example, if your child worries about a football game because they always lose. They lose because they didn’t practice, not because they have always lost before.

How they react to a situation changes it rather than what they feel about it. You should repeat this to your child who is afraid of failure or doing anything because everything is in their power to fix.

5. Balance pessimistic talk.

Prevent your kid’s pessimistic thinking by giving them a more balanced view. If your child refuses to go play outside because he worries that his friends don’t like them, tell him that if they didn’t like him, they wouldn’t invite him to play outside. 

Or, if your child is scared of failing his science exam, tell them that nobody can be perfect at everything. Remind them of their talents and then figure out a way to work better on chemistry. 

6. Confront negative self-talk.

Teach your kid to confront the negative self-talk they have. They might ask themselves “am I optimistic or pessimistic?” or “why couldn’t I be an optimistic child”.  But, this can be e by teaching them a three-step process. It is called the NED process.

• Notice it- Notice that your child over reviews everything driving them to be pessimistic. 
• Externalize it- Treat this morose self-talk as junk and avoid it whenever you find yourself doing it. 
• Dispute it- The same way, people dispute other’s opinions, they can dispute their thoughts as well. Fight with the pessimistic thoughts and force optimistic ones in your head. 

6. Model Optimism.

Your view of the world will eventually shape the way your child views the world. So, to help your child with optimism. Bring out the positives inside you. View the world in bright light and let your child see it too. Make them believe that the world has much to offer to them and they need to want it more than anything else. 

Exercise good language and a positive attitude. 

Say. “I know tomorrow will be a better day if today was not”

What does a pessimistic child has got to offer if they don’t believe in the success of their actions? You know your children and how their thought process affects their actions. The process to turn a pessimist into an optimist is simple as long as you are willing to change for your child too.